Hey, guys! I’m so sorry for the late notice – things have been absolutely CRAZY over here – as they have been since about the beginning of October. I tell you, moving to Fresno has been WAY harder than I had expected! STILL WORTH IT! Maybe?
Anyways! I’m participating in Ethony Dawn’s 31 Days of Tarot 2018 Challenge this year! We’re on Day 11 but I, of course, am lagging behind on Day 6 – but I am DETERMINED to complete the challenge this time! I’m getting a LOT of good feedback and that’s actually SUPER encouraging!
I purchased The Enchanted Map Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid a few weeks ago, but I haven’t had much of a chance to play with it! I went to FB Livestream to talk about the deck, show off some of the images, talk about why I bought it, and then to do some free readings! Check it out!
Ever wonder what “Claircognizance” is? There are 7 difference “clairs” in the study of psychic phenomenon that describe the way information can be perceived and received, and one of these is Claircognizance – “clear knowing.” But what IS that, what does it mean, and what does it feel like to experience it? In this video I discuss what MY experience of Claircognizance looks like. How does this compare to yours?
*My Patreon patrons got to see this video a week ago and have it all to themselves! If you want to see videos early, get in on the discussions, and receive surprise goodies, head on over!*
I have always had a fascination with portals. Gates, doors, windows, entryways, doorways, holes, archways, hallways… any sort of portal, really. They delineate where one place ends and another place begins and the portal itself is in between places.
The amazing thing is when you see a portal is that once you go through it, you are no longer where you once were. Being no longer where you once were, you are, in some small way, no longer who you once were. Things are entirely different once you pass through a portal. You move from one place to another and change from one person to another. To move through a portal is to face a transformation and is a rite of passage, of sorts.
And so, here we are, at the end of one year. Like other years, it has been it’s usual prescribed length with the same, usual events passing like they always do: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter – Full Moons, New Moons, and Quarter Moons. Birthdays, holidays, festivals. School, work, and graduations. Mornings, afternoons, nights. Like the sands through an hourglass, time keeps ticking away. We are facing yet another transition from one year into another. Facing the portal – the doorway, gate, archway, the line – between one year and the next.
I have a large collection of portals pinned on my Pinterest board – I’ve been pinning them for years. I’m going to pick one to represent the passage from this year to the next one, because I am ESPECIALLY relishing the end of this year and looking forward to the next one. We’re going from a #1 year (in numerology), to a #11 year – that’s pretty big. So let’s do it with intention. Let’s pick our portal.
So… I’ve been wanting to make this video for over a year now, but finally decided to sit down and do it. This is the reason that CrowSong Lodge exists and I’m sharing it with you, because I’m thinking now that other people might be thinking along the same lines I am. The bottom line is:
This is our community. We are our community. We take care of it. We run this.
So, a lot of the readings I do are around whether or not one lover should wait for the other. And, man, I HATE waiting. I won the “patience” award in the fourth grade, which boggles my mind because I am not a patient person. I REALLY hate waiting on stuff.
A client asked me if I was “just” saying that their person would come back to them, so I wanted to talk a little bit more about waiting, how I felt about it, my perspectie, and how much I hated “yes” answers to this question. So here it is!
I posted something about this about a week ago in my private Facebook group, but I’m thinking that the topic is bigger than that.
Something I’ve been seeing a lot of in my spirituality group and spiritual business groups is something very much like a persecution complex.
While a certain amount of drama and ego is normal in the spiritual community (since it’s made up of humans being), this is reaching a level normally more associated with narcissists, master manipulators, and aggressive psychic leeches. That IS uncommon. While the spiritual community IS made of humans being, these humans usually consider themselves compassionate, open-hearted, and empathic. As such, they aren’t USUALLY given to wild conspiracy theories and such pervasive paranoia.
I’ve bee slowly withdrawing from my groups as a result, because my gentle suggestions of “hey, I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation” and “I’m sure this is just a miscommunication” and “that seems a bit elaborate to me” have been met with hostility rather than relief.
I am not BLAMING anyone for this and if it were one person, or a few, or a dozen, I wouldn’t mention it. But I get around the internet a lot and seems to be becoming pretty common. And I’ve been in the new age/spiritual/pagan community since I was young tyke at my mother’s hip, so I have a pretty reliable idea of what’s “normal.”
If this is you, or you think it might be you, there are some things you can do. First – no shame here. Something pervasive like this means that if you/we are involved, we’re probably picking up on some kind of group/community vibe or something and being carried along. But that doesn’t let us off the hook because now that we’re aware of what’s going on, if we have accepted the responsibilities that come with being a leader, healer, guide, , etc. than it is on us to start reversing this energy.
That is a simple process. Don’t just deny your feelings straight away – that is not something I would suggest. But DO take a moment to get in touch with them and explore where they’re coming from and what they’re connected to. Exploring their roots will help reveal where they’re coming from and whether or not you’re picking up on something genuinely concerning about the situation or if you’re tapping into a general vibe in the air or community. Then, if appropriate, counter that feeling with something healthier – compassion, security, safety, happiness, calmness, joy… whatever you feel is most needed in that moment.
Second, insert a momentarily pause between feeling and reaction just to give you a second to think about if you really want to follow the path you’re on. This is a good policy for life (if you ask me, which you didn’t) because this way you can always make sure that your thinking-brain supports your actions. Regret is a terrible emotion and I do whatever I can to avoid it, and this is one of those things. That split second of checking in with myself gives me the chance to reevaluate the situation before blowing things up. You may not know it, but I can be quite destructive.
Lastly, treat yourself with extra gentleness. Regardless of where it’s coming from, we’re all probably feeling extra vulnerable right now. Instead of being rigid and mean to yourself about it, be compassionate and understand. Compassion starts at home!
I’m curious to hear if any of you out there are seeing this too and if so, where you think it’s coming from.
Och, okay. I have been seeing these articles about “The Dark Side” of being an empath or some nonsense like that. I admit, being an empath is not an easy gig and it can be pretty rough, especially in a society where emotions are not only unvalued but actively shamed. No doubt, it’s rough and it’s hard to figure out and learn to handle – not only do you have to figure out your emotions, but also everyone else’s around you. As I said in my last post, this usually means locking everything down and doing your best to live an emotionless life – or at least faking one. But, believe me, that isn’t the dark side.
I’m not going to talk about the REAL dark side today, though – I’m going to talk about the BRIGHT side!
Guys – being an empath can be pretty awesome! There are a LOT of advantages in this ability! Like all other psychic abilities that relate to getting information from other human beings, it’s actually a two way street – not only do you receive feelings from other people, you can also share yours with them as well. Which could definitely be bad if you were feeling depressed, but it also means that if you want to connect with a room of other people, perhaps in a team meeting, presentation, performance, or other group activity – you can do so pretty easily. It is a simple matter to become the life of the party, it’s an easy thing to bring peace to a tense situation, to relax a group of upset people, or create understanding and compassion where the otherwise wouldn’t be any.
I am a teacher and performer and I have found that being an empath is EXTREMELY helpful in creating a safe and creative atmosphere where my students are less frightened of making mistakes, feel more positive about their abilities, and genuinely find more enjoyment in the learning process. They leave my classes feeling better about themselves and their abilities and like they’ve become part of a community and made a group of trusted friends.
In my performances, I am able to evoke the emotions I want to relatively easily – not only through my use of music, movement, and emotiveness, but also through the way that I use and manipulate energy. I can draw the attention of a room by shifting my mental state alone, which can be very handy.
I am better able to express my sincerity in gratitude and appreciation because not only do I express it through my words and body language, by I also express it with my energy.
Animals are AMAZING and delightful! Very straightforward creatures. I frequently go over to friends houses and they apologize because their dogs are excitable and have no manners, typically jumping up on people and being boisterous. Instead of having to lock them up, I am able to tell my friends that I love dogs and to not worry about it and in maybe a minute, the dogs are calm and curled up at my feet. It is very easy to communicate with animals as an empath because they perceive the world entirely though instinct and emotion. Children are much the same way. I calm children, command their attention, and work with them very well – often surprising my friends who are parents since I have none of my own and am rarely around them.
This is just the tip of the iceberg in the ADVANTAGES of being an empath. So though you, as an empath, may view it as a curse, please know that it can also be a huge advantage in life and that you can use it to improve your environment, improve your life, move things forward, and help the people around you.
And I WILL get around to talking about the REAL dark side of being an empath, but I don’t want to cause hysteria. Yes, I am talking a DARK side. Talk again soon!
I had a pretty weird childhood and I grew up in a weird household, so it’s no surprise that the road I’ve taken (which is only visible where I have already passed because I am creating it as I go) is also pretty weird. And it seems that the older I get, the weirder things get, too, which, to the say the least, is pretty weird. So, keep this in mind – that I am coming from a weird place, having gotten here in a weird way, having started from a weird place.
My mother pegged me as an emapth when I was 6 or 7 years old. I was an extraordinarily sensitive child, easily overwhelmed by crowds, drawn immediately to whoever was in the most pain in the room, and relaying very odd information about people in a way that only a 6 year old could when she has no idea what she’s talking about. Mind you, my mother was recognized as a Master Rosicrucian shortly after my brother was born, when I was 3 or 4 years old, taught yoga, and read tarot cards with eerie accuracy. To say she was an expert metaphysician would be rather coy about the topic. So, I was a very, very lucky little empath child.
Very early on, before I was 10, I knew how to ground, center, shield, cleanse, and modulate energy (if you aren’t familiar with modulating energy, that is essentially controlling the flow of energy). I was already learning to astral project and clear, balance, and manipulate my own chakras. I had been taught pranayamas (yogic breathing) to both clean physical objects and spaces as well as to control my tendency to hyperventilate, had begun reading tarot cards and viking runes, programming quartz crystals, communicating with ghosts, and getting scary people to leave me alone using energy alone. I am not sharing this to brag – this is just the way it was, and it’s important that you know this about me because it explains what I am going to talk to you about shortly- but please know that this amazing education came with a price – I never learned to balance my budget, plan groceries and meals, or, even to cook for myself – and those are important!
At this point, many years have passed. My age is a trifle, I’m still a young buck at a mere 36 years old (and I am JUST figuring out how to budget things and the value of a grocery list – someday I’ll graduate to keeping track of time), but that means I have had 31 years of active empath training, practice, and conditioning -the foundations of which came from someone who was considered a master in a metaphysical fraternal order. That is one HELL of a head start!
So, the following line of thinking started when I met a fellow empath on Facebook who had just opened up. She’s a full blown adult, well out of her 20s (we’ll leave it at that) and thought she was going crazy. I told her how to do the things my mother had taught me when I was little and she had also learned similar things before our conversation and afterwards from other people. One day she told me that it just didn’t work for her – that shielding herself made things WORSE and HARDER. But grounding worked great!
I mean, the grounding made sense because humans need that regardless of how their brains work, so, yeah, duh. …But shielding made things WORSE? She said it was better when she just let the emotions flow through and around her instead of fighting them. And I got to thinking….
It had been a very long time since I shielded. Well over a decade. In fact, when I had gone into the corporate world (that was a bad idea and I don’t recommend it), I NEEDED every bit of my empath ability just to survive. I absolutely needed to know instantly if someone was about to rain down some abuse on me and if it was something that I could solve, prevent, avoid, or redirect. My boss was SO extremely abusive and such a menace to everyone around her that I could tell when I walked into the office building whether or not she had come into work that day, without seeing a single soul, just by the vibe in the building.
Of course, this wasn’t something I was doing consciously or a decision I had made – it was just something that I did instinctively, something that had happened – it was survival.
I’m sure it is no surprise to learn that I left that job when I had a nervous breakdown, which, looking back, I am grateful for. I am in a much better place now and maybe if I hadn’t had been so damned stubborn about making that job work, Universe wouldn’t have had to get so rough with me while trying to grant the very thing I had been begging for – relief, salvation, and happiness. But that’s another tale.
Since then, I have been wide open. WIDE OPEN. FREAKISHLY open. I’m not uncontrolled, I’m just open. I seem to have a thing about walls and thoughts. I only am “monitoring” or “aware” of who (or what?) I am sharing a room with or who I am thinking about. I can tell if a friend is having a bad day when they walk into the room without seeing or hearing them, regardless of the size of the room or how many people are in it. I can tell what kind of emotional state they are in when I see I have a message waiting for me on Facebook. If I am worried about them, I can “check in” with them just by thinking about them.
And this is the way I want it. This is how I want to operate. I know exactly how everyone is doing when I pass them in the grocery store, but instead of being hit in the gut by it, I let it flow off of me, through me, “like water off a duck,” just like my new empath friend was doing. Instead of having to fix it, instead of taking it on personally, I toss them a bit of energy, wish them well, and then I let it go and continue about my own business.
I don’t know what my point here is. But I’ve been wanting to share this for months now, and it’s been niggling away at me. Maybe I want to tell all the new empaths out there (when I was younger, no one knew what an empath was, and now it seems that everyone is one AND THAT’S A GOOD THING!) that it isn’t a curse, it isn’t a life sentence for some unknown crime, and it isn’t torture. You don’t have to put yourself on “lock down” forever. Yeah, figuring out what is going on can be rough and pretty awful, I’m not going to lie about that, but it isn’t going to be awful forever. It is also USEFUL. It is POWERFUL. You can do a LOT of good in the world, and not just as the world’s energetic septic tank (which seems to be what people are teaching these days), but in much more direct, immediate kind of way that you can pick and choose if it pleases you to do so and without being a freaking martyr if that isn’t your thing.
So hang in there. It’s gonna be okay. Weird, awkward, and a little messy, but it’ll be fine. You got this. We got this. It’s gonna be okay. I’ll get into some of the cool-ass benefits some other time. 😀 But keep your chin up, keep going forward, experiment, make mistakes, own that shit. It’s gonna be alright. We got this.
I’m not an astrologer. I’m a huge new-ager-woowoo-tarot-reader-Pagan-witchy person, but I’m not sure about astrology. My mom was an astrologer, so I’m not a total skeptic, either. But I guess I just think that is too much going on in an astrology chart to really systematize it and make it straightforward and consistent. I know, right? I’m a tarot reader and there are 78 cards! But I have been known to look down my nose at readings that use too many cards to answer a rather straightforward question. So, you know, a little consistency.
Anyways! Yes, astrology. I’m not sure about it. But I AM a Virgo. But not JUST a Virgo – but I have FOUR planets in Virgo (Sun, Mercury, Jupiter, and Saturn) and THREE in Taurus (because that’s fun), so obsessively neurotic perfectionism is kind of the basis of my existence – you know, if you believe in that stuff. And if you’ve ever met me, you might become a believer. While I’m not totally convinced myself, it is a handy shorthand way of warning people about some of my shortcomings/superpowers.
To describe myself as a type a personality, detail-oriented, over-achieving, workaholic, hypercritical, and a perfectionist would all have been completely accurate. Add stubborn and relentless to the mix and you have someone who is also extremely endearing. The idiom “second place is just the first loser” was me. If I wasn’t perfect, even if I was the best, then I was a complete failure. And if I wasn’t the best, then I was an absolute embarrassment.
Don’t get me wrong, though – I absolutely did NOT think I was perfect. All this criticism and harshness was only aimed at myself – the majority of other people on the planet were already perfect – born that way. I had somehow incarnated defectively. I was trying to keep up and I was under the ridiculous illusion that being perfect was just a matter of hard work and dedication. I guess this was my internalized version of the original sin.
So the idea of me being “already whole” was so outside of my reality that I do not have the vocabulary to even explain it to you. I didn’t have the conceptual foundation necessary to understand the concept of being inherently whole if you had tried to explain it to me in painfully accurate and explicit detail. That is how foreign and counter-intuitive that idea was to me.
When I got to be in my late teens and as a young adult, when I argued with boyfriends or family members, I was consistently hearing variations on a theme: “You always think you’re so damned perfect!” That was very confusing for me – in my world, I was a hastily patched together collection of flaws attempting to masquerade as a human while everyone else on the planet was perfect and beautiful. It later occurred to me that in holding myself up to such a high standard (set by my perceptions of them), I was making them feel imperfect and that they had to keep up with me (not realizing I was trying to keep up with them), which made THEM feel like a hastily patched together collection of flaws attempting to masquerade as a human!
That’s pretty sad. I mean, it’s tragic. This isn’t sarcasm, it makes my heart hurt.
So I reflected. I never thought the people around me were LITERALLY perfect, I thought they were perfectly balanced – a beautiful artistic blend of strengths and flaws that created something poetic and uniquely human.
I started sharing my experiences. I started talking about what I struggled with. I asked for advice from other people (instead of just books!). I would point out that flaws were a normal part of being human. When people would say “OMG, I’m such an idiot – I can’t believe I said that!” I would say “Or… maybe you’re a human being and you have emotions/get hungry/forget stuff and you had a perfectly normal human reaction that was less graceful than you’d like but nonetheless completely honest?”
The idea that flaws added to who I am instead of subtracted, just like I had always believed about everyone else, was revolutionary for me. It allowed me to relax. It allowed me to accept life with humor. I’ve become a much more laid back and groovy person. When things go wrong, I take them in stride and just roll with it – and as a professional performer and instructor, that’s a pretty useful skill to have. It doesn’t mean I’m not trying to improve myself, but it does mean that I think I’m perfect just how I am and that I am CHOOSING to improve myself and that I don’t feel obligated to.
I still struggle with being obsessive and neurotic. But I make a habit to listen to my hunny more often and chill out. I find the humor in the weird things I do that make no sense to me and cheerfully share them with other people so they can have a chuckle. They’ve got to be good for something, right? But it’s up to me if I went to get rid of these flaws or strengths or if I just want to relax and hang out. I truly believe that we’re all worthwhile and worthy and that we all deserve space in the world – and I’m learning that that includes me, too.