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The Lightworkers’s Personal Black Cloud

I posted something about this about a week ago in my private Facebook group, but I’m thinking that the topic is bigger than that.

Something I’ve been seeing a lot of in my spirituality group and spiritual business groups is something very much like a persecution complex.

Photo by: soysuperfer @ Pixabay

While a certain amount of drama and ego is normal in the spiritual community (since it’s made up of humans being), this is reaching a level normally more associated with narcissists, master manipulators, and aggressive psychic leeches. That IS uncommon. While the spiritual community IS made of humans being, these humans usually consider themselves compassionate, open-hearted, and empathic. As such, they aren’t USUALLY given to wild conspiracy theories and such pervasive paranoia.

I’ve bee slowly withdrawing from my groups as a result, because my gentle suggestions of “hey, I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation” and “I’m sure this is just a miscommunication” and “that seems a bit elaborate to me” have been met with hostility rather than relief.

I am not BLAMING anyone for this and if it were one person, or a few, or a dozen, I wouldn’t mention it. But I get around the internet a lot and seems to be becoming pretty common. And I’ve been in the new age/spiritual/pagan community since I was young tyke at my mother’s hip, so I have a pretty reliable idea of what’s “normal.”

If this is you, or you think it might be you, there are some things you can do. First – no shame here. Something pervasive like this means that if you/we are involved, we’re probably picking up on some kind of group/community vibe or something and being carried along. But that doesn’t let us off the hook because now that we’re aware of what’s going on, if we have accepted the responsibilities that come with being a leader, healer, guide, , etc. than it is on us to start reversing this energy.

That is a simple process. Don’t just deny your feelings straight away – that is not something I would suggest. But DO take a moment to get in touch with them and explore where they’re coming from and what they’re connected to. Exploring their roots will help reveal where they’re coming from and whether or not you’re picking up on something genuinely concerning about the situation or if you’re tapping into a general vibe in the air or community. Then, if appropriate, counter that feeling with something healthier – compassion, security, safety, happiness, calmness, joy… whatever you feel is most needed in that moment.

Second, insert a momentarily pause between feeling and reaction just to give you a second to think about if you really want to follow the path you’re on. This is a good policy for life (if you ask me, which you didn’t) because this way you can always make sure that your thinking-brain supports your actions. Regret is a terrible emotion and I do whatever I can to avoid it, and this is one of those things. That split second of checking in with myself gives me the chance to reevaluate the situation before blowing things up. You may not know it, but I can be quite destructive.

Lastly, treat yourself with extra gentleness. Regardless of where it’s coming from, we’re all probably feeling extra vulnerable right now. Instead of being rigid and mean to yourself about it, be compassionate and understand. Compassion starts at home!

I’m curious to hear if any of you out there are seeing this too and if so, where you think it’s coming from.

The Bright Side of Empathy

Photo by: earthroom @ Pixabay

Och, okay. I have been seeing these articles about “The Dark Side” of being an empath or some nonsense like that. I admit, being an empath is not an easy gig and it can be pretty rough, especially in a society where emotions are not only unvalued but actively shamed. No doubt, it’s rough and it’s hard to figure out and learn to handle – not only do you have to figure out your emotions, but also everyone else’s around you. As I said in my last post, this usually means locking everything down and doing your best to live an emotionless life – or at least faking one. But, believe me, that isn’t the dark side.

I’m not going to talk about the REAL dark side today, though – I’m going to talk about the BRIGHT side!

Guys – being an empath can be pretty awesome! There are a LOT of advantages in this ability! Like all other psychic abilities that relate to getting information from other human beings, it’s actually a two way street – not only do you receive feelings from other people, you can also share yours with them as well. Which could definitely be bad if you were feeling depressed, but it also means that if you want to connect with a room of other people, perhaps in a team meeting, presentation, performance, or other group activity – you can do so pretty easily. It is a simple matter to become the life of the party, it’s an easy thing to bring peace to a tense situation, to relax a group of upset people, or create understanding and compassion where the otherwise wouldn’t be any.

I am a teacher and performer and I have found that being an empath is EXTREMELY helpful in creating a safe and creative atmosphere where my students are less frightened of making mistakes, feel more positive about their abilities, and genuinely find more enjoyment in the learning process. They leave my classes feeling better about themselves and their abilities and like they’ve become part of a community and made a group of trusted friends.

Photo by: Andy Rodriguez

In my performances, I am able to evoke the emotions I want to relatively easily – not only through my use of music, movement, and emotiveness, but also through the way that I use and manipulate energy. I can draw the attention of a room by shifting my mental state alone, which can be very handy.

I am better able to express my sincerity in gratitude and appreciation because not only do I express it through my words and body language, by I also express it with my energy.

Animals are AMAZING and delightful! Very straightforward creatures. I frequently go over to friends houses and they apologize because their dogs are excitable and have no manners, typically jumping up on people and being boisterous. Instead of having to lock them up, I am able to tell my friends that I love dogs and to not worry about it and in maybe a minute, the dogs are calm and curled up at my feet. It is very easy to communicate with animals as an empath because they perceive the world entirely though instinct and emotion. Children are much the same way. I calm children, command their attention, and work with them very well – often surprising my friends who are parents since I have none of my own and am rarely around them.

This is just the tip of the iceberg in the ADVANTAGES of being an empath. So though you, as an empath, may view it as a curse, please know that it can also be a huge advantage in life and that you can use it to improve your environment, improve your life, move things forward, and help the people around you.

And I WILL get around to talking about the REAL dark side of being an empath, but I don’t want to cause hysteria. Yes, I am talking a DARK side. Talk again soon!

~ Nathara

Photo by: cocoparisienne @ Pixabay

Empaths Gone Wild!

Photo by: Myriams Photos

I had a pretty weird childhood and I grew up in a weird household, so it’s no surprise that the road I’ve taken (which is only visible where I have already passed because I am creating it as I go) is also pretty weird. And it seems that the older I get, the weirder things get, too, which, to the say the least, is pretty weird. So, keep this in mind – that I am coming from a weird place, having gotten here in a weird way, having started from a weird place.

My mother pegged me as an emapth when I was 6 or 7 years old. I was an extraordinarily sensitive child, easily overwhelmed by crowds, drawn immediately to whoever was in the most pain in the room, and relaying very odd information about people in a way that only a 6 year old could when she has no idea what she’s talking about. Mind you, my mother was recognized as a Master Rosicrucian shortly after my brother was born, when I was 3 or 4 years old, taught yoga, and read tarot cards with eerie accuracy. To say she was an expert metaphysician would be rather coy about the topic. So, I was a very, very lucky little empath child.

My Mother, center, doing a tarot reading for one of her sister’s friends. That’s me on the left (and my cousin behind me), somewhere around 10ish maybe?

Very early on, before I was 10, I knew how to ground, center, shield, cleanse, and modulate energy (if you aren’t familiar with modulating energy, that is essentially controlling the flow of energy). I was already learning to astral project and clear, balance, and manipulate my own chakras. I had been taught pranayamas (yogic breathing) to both clean physical objects and spaces as well as to control my tendency to hyperventilate, had begun reading tarot cards and viking runes, programming quartz crystals, communicating with ghosts, and getting scary people to leave me alone using energy alone. I am not sharing this to brag – this is just the way it was, and it’s important that you know this about me because it explains what I am going to talk to you about shortly- but please know that this amazing education came with a price – I never learned to balance my budget, plan groceries and meals, or, even to cook for myself – and those are important!

At this point, many years have passed. My age is a trifle, I’m still a young buck at a mere 36 years old (and I am JUST figuring out how to budget things and the value of a grocery list – someday I’ll graduate to keeping track of time), but that means I have had 31 years of active empath training, practice, and conditioning -the foundations of which came from someone who was considered a master in a metaphysical fraternal order. That is one HELL of a head start!

So, the following line of thinking started when I met a fellow empath on Facebook who had just opened up. She’s a full blown adult, well out of her 20s (we’ll leave it at that) and thought she was going crazy. I told her how to do the things my mother had taught me when I was little and she had also learned similar things before our conversation and afterwards from other people. One day she told me that it just didn’t work for her – that shielding herself made things WORSE and HARDER. But grounding worked great!

Photo by: Danfador

I mean, the grounding made sense because humans need that regardless of how their brains work, so, yeah, duh. …But shielding made things WORSE? She said it was better when she just let the emotions flow through and around her instead of fighting them. And I got to thinking….

It had been a very long time since I shielded. Well over a decade. In fact, when I had gone into the corporate world (that was a bad idea and I don’t recommend it), I NEEDED every bit of my empath ability just to survive. I absolutely needed to know instantly if someone was about to rain down some abuse on me and if it was something that I could solve, prevent, avoid, or redirect. My boss was SO extremely abusive and such a menace to everyone around her that I could tell when I walked into the office building whether or not she had come into work that day, without seeing a single soul, just by the vibe in the building.

Of course, this wasn’t something I was doing consciously or a decision I had made – it was just something that I did instinctively, something that had happened – it was survival.

I’m sure it is no surprise to learn that I left that job when I had a nervous breakdown, which, looking back, I am grateful for. I am in a much better place now and maybe if I hadn’t had been so damned stubborn about making that job work, Universe wouldn’t have had to get so rough with me while trying to grant the very thing I had been begging for – relief, salvation, and happiness. But that’s another tale.

Photo by: Mojpe

Since then, I have been wide open. WIDE OPEN. FREAKISHLY open. I’m not uncontrolled, I’m just open. I seem to have a thing about walls and thoughts. I only am “monitoring” or “aware” of who (or what?) I am sharing a room with or who I am thinking about. I can tell if a friend is having a bad day when they walk into the room without seeing or hearing them, regardless of the size of the room or how many people are in it. I can tell what kind of emotional state they are in when I see I have a message waiting for me on Facebook. If I am worried about them, I can “check in” with them just by thinking about them.

And this is the way I want it. This is how I want to operate. I know exactly how everyone is doing when I pass them in the grocery store, but instead of being hit in the gut by it, I let it flow off of me, through me, “like water off a duck,” just like my new empath friend was doing. Instead of having to fix it, instead of taking it on personally, I toss them a bit of energy, wish them well, and then I let it go and continue about my own business.

I don’t know what my point here is. But I’ve been wanting to share this for months now, and it’s been niggling away at me. Maybe I want to tell all the new empaths out there (when I was younger, no one knew what an empath was, and now it seems that everyone is one AND THAT’S A GOOD THING!) that it isn’t a curse, it isn’t a life sentence for some unknown crime, and it isn’t torture. You don’t have to put yourself on “lock down” forever. Yeah, figuring out what is going on can be rough and pretty awful, I’m not going to lie about that, but it isn’t going to be awful forever. It is also USEFUL. It is POWERFUL. You can do a LOT of good in the world, and not just as the world’s energetic septic tank (which seems to be what people are teaching these days), but in much more direct, immediate kind of way that you can pick and choose if it pleases you to do so and without being a freaking martyr if that isn’t your thing.

So hang in there. It’s gonna be okay. Weird, awkward, and a little messy, but it’ll be fine. You got this. We got this. It’s gonna be okay. I’ll get into some of the cool-ass benefits some other time. 😀 But keep your chin up, keep going forward, experiment, make mistakes, own that shit. It’s gonna be alright. We got this.

Photo by: Pezibear
Picture of Nathara

Already Whole* – Day 1

I’m not an astrologer. I’m a huge new-ager-woowoo-tarot-reader-Pagan-witchy person, but I’m not sure about astrology. My mom was an astrologer, so I’m not a total skeptic, either. But I guess I just think that is too much going on in an astrology chart to really systematize it and make it straightforward and consistent. I know, right? I’m a tarot reader and there are 78 cards! But I have been known to look down my nose at readings that use too many cards to answer a rather straightforward question. So, you know, a little consistency.

Anyways! Yes, astrology. I’m not sure about it. But I AM a Virgo. But not JUST a Virgo – but I have FOUR planets in Virgo (Sun, Mercury, Jupiter, and Saturn) and THREE in Taurus (because that’s fun), so obsessively neurotic perfectionism is kind of the basis of my existence – you know, if you believe in that stuff. And if you’ve ever met me, you might become a believer. While I’m not totally convinced myself, it is a handy shorthand way of warning people about some of my shortcomings/superpowers.

To describe myself as a type a personality, detail-oriented, over-achieving, workaholic, hypercritical, and a perfectionist would all have been completely accurate. Add stubborn and relentless to the mix and you have someone who is also extremely endearing. The idiom “second place is just the first loser” was me. If I wasn’t perfect, even if I was the best, then I was a complete failure. And if I wasn’t the best, then I was an absolute embarrassment.

Don’t get me wrong, though – I absolutely did NOT think I was perfect. All this criticism and harshness was only aimed at myself – the majority of other people on the planet were already perfect – born that way. I had somehow incarnated defectively. I was trying to keep up and I was under the ridiculous illusion that being perfect was just a matter of hard work and dedication. I guess this was my internalized version of the original sin.

So the idea of me being “already whole” was so outside of my reality that I do not have the vocabulary to even explain it to you. I didn’t have the conceptual foundation necessary to understand the concept of being inherently whole if you had tried to explain it to me in painfully accurate and explicit detail. That is how foreign and counter-intuitive that idea was to me.

When I got to be in my late teens and as a young adult, when I argued with boyfriends or family members, I was consistently hearing variations on a theme: “You always think you’re so damned perfect!” That was very confusing for me – in my world, I was a hastily patched together collection of flaws attempting to masquerade as a human while everyone else on the planet was perfect and beautiful.  It later occurred to me that in holding myself up to such a high standard (set by my perceptions of them), I was making them feel imperfect and that they had to keep up with me (not realizing I was trying to keep up with them), which made THEM feel like a hastily patched together collection of flaws attempting to masquerade as a human!

That’s pretty sad. I mean, it’s tragic. This isn’t sarcasm, it makes my heart hurt.

So I reflected. I never thought the people around me were LITERALLY perfect, I thought they were perfectly balanced – a beautiful artistic blend of strengths and flaws that created something poetic and uniquely human.

I started sharing my experiences. I started talking about what I struggled with. I asked for advice from other people (instead of just books!). I would point out that flaws were a normal part of being human. When people would say “OMG, I’m such an idiot – I can’t believe I said that!” I would say “Or… maybe you’re a human being and you have emotions/get hungry/forget stuff and you had a perfectly normal human reaction that was less graceful than you’d like but nonetheless completely honest?”

The idea that flaws added to who I am instead of subtracted, just like I had always believed about everyone else, was revolutionary for me. It allowed me to relax. It allowed me to accept life with humor. I’ve become a much more laid back and groovy person. When things go wrong, I take them in stride and just roll with it – and as a professional performer and instructor, that’s a pretty useful skill to have. It doesn’t mean I’m not trying to improve myself, but it does mean that I think I’m perfect just how I am and that I am CHOOSING to improve myself and that I don’t feel obligated to.

I still struggle with being obsessive and neurotic. But I make a habit to listen to my hunny more often and chill out. I find the humor in the weird things I do that make no sense to me and cheerfully share them with other people so they can have a chuckle. They’ve got to be good for something, right? But it’s up to me if I went to get rid of these flaws or strengths or if I just want to relax and hang out. I truly believe that we’re all worthwhile and worthy and that we all deserve space in the world – and I’m learning that that includes me, too.

*a storytelling campaign for reclaiming all that we are in the face of oppression. #wholeselfliberation    http://www.bit.ly/alreadywhole

Tarot Readings – There’s an App for That!

In one of the groups I am in online, the topic of tarot apps (applications for your phone, tablet, or computer) with electronic card decks came up. I think everyone I knows has had the same initial reaction: “what?! no! Can’t be!? Well… maybe…?” It’s that moment of confusion, rejection, and then reconsideration. So, I want to talk about my reasoning for using them (and when I don’t).

First, I want to go back to something I am probably telling people way too much: Tarot cards are just ink and paper (and a little plastic gloss). Ink and paper. That’s it. Those things are not inherently any more psychic or magical than anything else on the planet, my smartphone included. The most common theory regarding tarot cards and energy is that, through use, you imbue the cards with your own energy and then use that connection through energy to use the cards for divination. Creating an extension of your own natural intuition. But there is no reason why this wouldn’t work with your smartphone, too. Some people reject the idea of plastic and energy, but it IS a physical object, so it DOES have energy. Even so, the functional parts of a smartphone are metals, and those definitely DO have energy. There’s no reason that you couldn’t imbue your circuits with energy the same way you do your tarot deck.

Without anything for your client to physically shuffle, how do you connect to THEIR energy to read it? That’s a great question! And a lot of us have figured it out through trial and error in order to offer our readings over the telephone or online via chat and email. Each reader handles this a little differently. I have this big fixation on names, so that’s how I do it – I need the names of everyone directly part of the question. I use that name and the FEELING that comes with it (not all “Sarahs” FEEL the same) as an address to connect to that person through the person I am directly communicating with (kind of like when you connect with a mutual friend through the shared friend’s friendlist on Facebook). Other readers use birthdates to do that as well, and some will simply not read for anyone not part of the conversation. Experiment with this and see what works for you.

Computers use random number generators (commonly abbreviated as RNGs) in order to determine the cards you draw – that’s not REALLY TRULY random, so how can that possibly work? This is a good one, and quite the educated question, too! NONE of our readings are TRULY random, no matter what our shuffling technique. The variables involved are always affected by the long line of shuffles that we’ve done over the years. I am very bad at math, but college taught me that, given enough data, it is a simple matter to predict card results! If you’re interested in this, there’s a fantastic documentary about a mathematician at a college who, as a project, taught his students how to quickly predict upcarding card results in card games at casinos. Impressive math! Beyond me, but impressive! But since we know those formulas and system, programmers use them to create a MUCH BETTER Random Number Generator than the ones we had in the 80s or 90s – ones that are indistinguishable from a real life shuffle. Oh, and there are matrices involved (a matrix is just a table for corresponding data points). Technology is wonderful!

In fact, in regards to “randomness” or, as it’s more properly referred to, “chaos,” – that is a necessary element of divination all around the board. A certain amount of chaos, variables that you cannot control or predict reasonably easily, allows whatever source you believe influences your cards to do it’s magic thing. So you can do divination with anything that is systemitized and has a random factor. Pendulums, coins, playing cards, tarot cards, oracle cards, fire and candle flames, clouds, tea leaves, animal entrails, bones, stones, runes, books, cow pies (yes, that’s a thing!) and the newly christened “Shufflemancy!” (this uses radio stations and music played on “shuffle”). So as long as you can connect to something and chaos can be invited in, you’re all set!

It’s okay if you are not comfortable using an app or if you just WANT to use your physical cards more. Your best readings are done when you are most comfortable, and that’s just the way it is. If you want to use physical paper cards forever until the end of time, that is totally fine. But DO keep an open mind about tarot apps and, if you’re curious, try it out – do some experiments – and see what you think.

I hope that helps! Here are some free and not-free apps that I, personally, recommend (and one website):

Shadowscapes Tarot App Home Page

Tarot Apps by Fool’s Dog: https://play.google.com/store/apps/developer?id=The+Fool%27s+Dog
Highly recommend these! I just love them! They have a bunch of “official” deck apps which are great (I got my Shadowscapes Deck there, which is my favorite “working” deck), including Shadowscapes, Druidcraft, Mystical Cats, Robin Wood, Ciro, Steampunk, and several samplers (samplers are usually free and official apps are $3-4) and there are also other nice features, such as the original book text for the deck, a journal, many many spreads to choose from, and more. LOVE.

Tarot of Marseilles by Libertus Apps

Tarot Apps by Liberus: https://play.google.com/store/apps/developer?id=Liberus
I have NOT personally tried these out (but I’m gonna!) but they look great! A lot of the standard features and some pretty cool decks are available, such as the Tarot of Marseilles. Most their apps are free, so be mindful of ads – though they may allow you to pay to remove them (which is cool, $5 is worth it, I hate ads!).

Screenshot of Facade Tarot Reading

Facade Tarot Website: http://www.facade.com/tarot/
Facade has been around for a LONG time and is an AMAZING site! They have a huge collection of decks, spreads, and other features as well as a “random” function that will choose your deck and spread for you! It’s a lot of fun and definitely worth trying out! Did I mention the “free” part yet? AND they provide a widget whereby you can add free online tarot readings to your site as well – which is awesome if you are planning to do some tarot teaching, like I am. 😀 Unlike the apps, Facade will also interpret your reading for you, too, but it’s a machine, so it’s not really great at it. But it’s pretty cool if you aren’t totally confident yet and need a nudge once in awhile!

Do you have any other questions and concerns that I didn’t touch on here? Comments and experiences? Just share them in the comments below!

~ Nathara

The Equinox is Coming!!!

It’s that time of year again – you know the one I’m talking about. Cooler days, chilly evenings, the changing of the trees’ leaves, pumpkin spice everything, and lurkers in the dark. That’s right, it’s time for Fall!

Fall is my favorite season (sorry the rest of the year!) for so many reasons – the weather is the best, kids are back in school, and, did I mention, Halloween? YESYESYES! Halloween is the best!

So, here are a list of things I like to do on the Equinoxes:

  • Clean the house thoroughlybanner-018
  • Take stock of where my projects are at
  • Create a brief overview of what I want for the next three months
  • Develop a list of supplies I’m going to need
  • Medical and dental appointments as necessary
  • Double check the budget
  • Cleanse my space
  • Create moon water
  • Cleanse my crystals (I’m so lazy, I do it once a season)
  • Draw some Tarot cards to assist with planning
  • Connect with friends and family I haven’t touched base with for awhile
  • Dive back into some real home cooking
  • Stock up on Halloween supplies (all year round supplies, really)
  • Launch some projects (art, mostly)
  • Eat as much pumpkin spice baking as I can

Fun list, right? Some of it is just general housecleaning stuff and whatnot, but it’s importable to have it in there. As a practicing witch, when I am cleaning I am also cleansing at the same time – where do you think that whole broom thing came from, anyways?

A wonderful friend of mine was so kind as to send me some clippings from her garden – so stay tuned to check out what I do with them!

So, yes, I’m about ready to dive into making a business plan – what are you jumping into?



Why I Choose a Broken Heart

The Lovers from the Shadowscapes Tarot
The Lovers from the Shadowscapes Tarot

As most of you already know, I’m a tarot reader. I spend a LOT of time talking to people about relationships. And there’s a couple things that they think that I find tragically mistaken.

The first is that there’s no use in a relationship that doesn’t last forever.

The second is that a broken heart is to be avoided at all costs.

Which, I suppose, sound sensible at first, but they really aren’t. There are a lot of very good reasons to go into a relationship that is temporary and to risk getting hurt.

Relationships are not just Facebook statuses to be changed out as time passes. Relationships are an extremely close examination of another person and, hopefully, a reflection on yourself. You learn what it’s like to see the world through a different set of eyes – and it becomes an entirely new world. And when your world has changed, so, too, have you.

Our relationships – all of them – parents, siblings, friends, cousins, lovers, coworkers, boss, teacher, stranger – shape who we are. Sometimes we get to choose how we are changed, but often times we don’t. We grow by meeting all these people and exchanging our energy with them. And, hopefully, over the course of the relationship, you come up with some beautiful memories to look back on later.

So, with all this changing that we’re doing all the time, who we are now is not going to be the same person who meets our life partners. And that’s good – because you need to make the journey to that new person in order to have a successful relationship with them. And if you met them now, there’s probably a good chance that you wouldn’t even like each other.

Think of all these relationships that have “failed” as experiences that help mold you into the person you need to become, like water over a stone.

The Tower from the Shadowscapes Tarot Deck
The Tower from the Shadowscapes Tarot Deck

And then with heart break – it hasn’t killed us yet, has it? We experience heart breaks in so many different forms. Small ones, when the diner is out of milk shakes, and large ones, when we lose someone we love.

This is the way I view it – all the good stuff that happens before the heart break is worth the heart break itself – if it was not, we wouldn’t care. Heart break just means that something really beautiful happened in your life and for whatever reason, it has stopped. But all that came before? Beauty. The process of grieving what is now gone? Also beauty.

Not to sound like a 18th century poet, but the amount of grief and loss we feel is a testimony to how deeply we felt and loved. As such, it can be nothing other than pure beauty.

It’s almost like watching a good movie. You know the movie is going to end, and then there will be no more, but you watch it because the experience will be a good one. Think of that only on a much bigger and more meaningful scale. It’s kind of like that.

Grief is testimony to how important something was to us.

When my dad was getting ready to meet his now ex-wife, he asked me if it was a good idea. And I asked him what he had to lose? A broken heart? He’s survived that plenty of times before and, if necessary, he would do so again.

I was no older than 18 when that happened – and I still fully support my advice to him.

Forming New Habits

11083787_10206421003263667_46459813757960255_oChanging your life, whether in a big way or a small way, is always amazing. It’s hard to tell where your life will end up as a result! But wherever you’re going, it’s sure to be amazing!

But how do you form a new habit? You just do the same thing over and over again for 21 days, right?

For one, 21 days can be hard, if that were even the right number.

For two, it’s just not that simple!

So, what can you do to form a new habit?

The first thing that needs to happen is that you need to Decide, with a big “D” that you’re going to change something. The big “D” means that you’re going to put it out to Universe that you’re putting your whole will into this and that you won’t take “no” for an answer! Deciding (with a big “D”) is the first step to any manifestation, and changing a new habit is just manifesting things in your own behavior. So you make an agreement with yourself and the Universe that things are going to change.

003-2-editedThe next thing you do is decide if this new habit is going to be a multi-step process (making a big change) or a single step process (making a small change). Deciding to eat healthy would be an example of a multi-step process, whereas flossing your teeth is a single step process.

The reason that this is important to know is because you’ll want to break down multi-step processes (or complex changes) into smaller parts and implement each one separately, building up to a big change. Effectively making each one a single-step process.

Once you have your single-step (and it’s a good idea to only change one habit at a time) process, you’re ready to get started!

Your single-step really has two steps. They are:

  • Create a reminder
  • Follow through

036-4-editedThat’s it! You repeat these steps over and over again until you automatically perform the new habit. For you, it may take 7 days or it could take 3 months – this depends on the person and is dependent on a million different variables, so only time will tell.

One single-step process I recommend immediately? Telling yourself “I love you” every time you see yourself in a mirror. You can write “I love you” on a note card and put it in your vanity mirror as your reminder. This will help boost self-esteem and self-confidence and you’ll be amazed at the changes you see!

Now get out there and create a better reality for yourself!



Who is Driving the Bus?

Photo by: scharfsascha @ Pixabay
Photo by: scharfsascha @ Pixabay

This is something that I’ve seen time and time again, and it makes me a little crazy.

People I’m working with, and people in my life, know what step they need to take, how to do it, and have access to all their resources. But they still aren’t moving forward.

Why? Because they’re waiting for their Guides or the Universe to tell them it’s the right time.

For one, when they have the knowledge, ability, and know how to move forward, wouldn’t you think THAT was Universe lining things up for you? Shouldn’t that indicate that it IS time to move forward?

For another, sometimes the Universe is waiting on YOU to make the first move. We have an agreement about free will, and so the Universe isn’t going to FORCE you to do anything – most the time, it just quietly opens the doors and let’s you find your way through them on your own.

But really, whose life is it? Who is driving this bus? Who is the one playing the waiting game right now? Why are you holding back when you could be moving forward?

It’s important to trust your intuition and your gut and your instincts, but sometimes it’s also important to go after what you want or need despite the fears that may be holding you back.


#Museday Photo Scavenger Hunt is here!!!

Photo by: LoggaWiggler @ Pixabay
Photo by: LoggaWiggler @ Pixabay

Hello and welcome to the #Museday Photo Scavenger Hunt! We’re kicking off today with a list of fun things to photograph regardless of what your weather is like. Some items will be SUPER easy and some of them will be a little bit more difficult – but the fun is in the finding – and the snapping of the picture!

Please feel free to upload your photos to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr with the hashtag #Museday – my friend, Deanna Lohnes, and I will be watching out all day for our favorites and sharing them as well!

In addition to the #Museday Photo Scavenger Hunt, please participate in exploring your creativity with the help of the nine Muses as well by joining in our weekend of activities! And remember that the most important part is that you HAVE FUN!!!!

Ready, set…. go!!!

Photo Scavenger Hunt

Take a picture of:

  1. Something orange
  2. A person wearing green
  3. A living green plant  (no dead trees or cut flowers)
  4. A child under 10
  5. Water (not frozen)
  6. Christmas lights that are still up
  7. License plate ending in “y”
  8. A big hat (extra point for a selfie in it)
  9. A picture of Pizza
  10. A gemstone
  11. Someone named “Mike”
  12. A red door